Moments Like These

Aurelia,

Since you have come into our lives, there are moments that, as a parent, make me wonder if we are giving you all you need. Moments in which I question if we are providing you the best possible environment in which to thrive, in which to become your personal best. Are you getting enough sunshine or exercise? Are we providing you with a diet that contains enough fibre and are you eating enough vegetables? Is your level of vocabulary normal? Do you feel secure and safe?Do we play enough with you or read you enough books? And, if so, are they the right games or the best books? Are we nurturing you to become a strong, independendant, and confident person? Are you happy?

And then there are moments like these, when, I just know, the answer is yes.

You at Two

Goldfish crackers are your favourite snack.You have just become a big sister. When we go get you in your room in the morning, the first thing you do is hand us your empty bottle.You have finally begun giving kisses. You are now eating meat.You have started using the potty. If Mama gets herself a milkshake and gives you a sip, you never give it back. You still love to watch movies- recent favourites are “Garfield’s Fun Fest” and “Happy Feet”. You love bubble baths. Tantrums are a regular occurrence, head-banging included. Your favorite thing to do at the playground is swing, but you haven’t figured out how to lean back.Your favourite expressions are “Oh, wow!” and “What’s this?”. You love the sandbox Grand-Mere & Grand-Pere got you - when you arrive at their house, you beeline for the back door to the yard. You like putting on Papa's slippers. Mega-Bloks, In the Night Garden figurines and Dr. Seuss Flash cards are among your favourite toys to play with, but you are just as happy with some Tupperware, a feather duster,or a pair of IPOD headphones. You are loved more than you know. Love, Mama

On Your Way

To My Baby in My Belly,

I am sitting here waiting for the hospital to call to let me know they are ready for my induction today. We were supposed to go in at 6am, but they had a busy night, so we have had to wait. I think this was a blessing because I feel more ready mentally for labor. It is how it is supposed to happen.

What I want you to know is that, although we have yet to look each other in the eyes, your Papa and I already love you beyond words. You are the greatest gift we could ask for, and we cannot wait to continue this life's journey, both yours and ours, with you. I can't wait to meet you.

All my love,

Mama

Yesterday

My Dearest Aurelia,

Yesterday I reached the 26 week mark for this pregnancy. We had an appointment with Dr. Johansson, so Papa finished work early, we packed ourselves into the car, and headed to her office. The last time I was in that office was very nerve-wracking indeed. I had gone in the previous day for my "almost 22-week appointment, and during that ultrasound, the doctor noticed something that could indicate something serious was wrong with the baby, so the following morning, we headed back to the office in a rush to do an amniocentesis. Much to Papa's and my relief, the results for the amnio came back normal. So yesterday, was a much happier occasion for me, and I really tried to enjoy the moment of getting to see your soon-to-arrive brother or sister on the ultrasound machine screen.

You were in Papa's arms during this, and were getting quite restless, especially since the wait to see the doctor was a little long for you. This meant that Papa got to see very little of the ultrasound taking place. He was busy taking care of you. But later, once we left the office he told me of your reaction seeing me laying on the doctor's examination table while Dr. Johansson probed my belly. Apparently, you became very still and were observing everything that was going on. Then, although you made no sound, tears began streaming down your face, and continued even after the examination was over. He is certain you thought the doctor was hurting me, even though you could see me smiling and laughing. Once we left the examination room, while I was talking to the doctor and her secretary and making arrangements for my next appointment, you, still in Papa's arms, kept reaching out to me, holding tightly to my shirt.

It was only after, when Papa told me of your reaction, that I realized how upset you were, and to be honest, it was only last night, while laying in bed wide awake at around 2am with insomnia did it hit me. I am your mama. And you know it. And as much as I live with the fear that something could hurt you or happen to you, you also live with that fear for me. We need each other, and we have a bond that has developed and strengthened every single day since we came into each other's lives. Maybe it sounds strange that such a simple incident made me come to such a realization, but with you, I have learned that the simplest things having become the most incredible blessings. A soft kiss from you. You caressing my eyelashes. Your small open hand on my chest while you fall asleep. These are gifts you give me every day and for which I will never be able to repay you.

January 19th,2009

This evening, I decided to take a bath around 5pm.Papa was home and about to start supper, and I just had the urge to soak and relax in the tub. I left the bathroom door open because I thought you would get a kick out of seeing Mama in the tub and you out of it for a change. Soon, you were running in to "surprise me" every minute or so. Next, you decided it would be interesting to dip you (clean) paint brush in the water, which meant that within a few minutes, you were wet up to your elbows. It didn't take long for you to start pulling out your bath toys and placing them on the edge of the bath. You even pulled out the three little tub men I use to sing you "Lundi matin, le roi, la reine, et son p'tit prince..." and you motioned to me that this bathtime, regardless of who was actually in the bath, should be no different. At this point, your pants were already off since they had gotten dirty and I had removed them before my bath, but you were still wearing shoes and socks..you had asked me to put them on you this afternoon, a first.Before I knew it, you were trying to get in the tub to join me, shoes and all. So Papa came to the rescue, quickly stripped you down, and plopped you in the tub with me. The water was much deeper than you are normally used to, and you seemed to love it, although you did slip a couple of times. We brought in some of your toys and you seemed to just love being in the deep water and having me with you. It has been quite a while since we have bathed together, and it was even more wonderful than I remembered, playing with you in the tub, listening to music from the kitchen where Papa was preparing us a delicious meal. The bath turned out different than I had planned, but undoubtedly better. It was, a perfect evening.