Yesterday
Yesterday I reached the 26 week mark for this pregnancy. We had an appointment with Dr. Johansson, so Papa finished work early, we packed ourselves into the car, and headed to her office. The last time I was in that office was very nerve-wracking indeed. I had gone in the previous day for my "almost 22-week appointment, and during that ultrasound, the doctor noticed something that could indicate something serious was wrong with the baby, so the following morning, we headed back to the office in a rush to do an amniocentesis. Much to Papa's and my relief, the results for the amnio came back normal. So yesterday, was a much happier occasion for me, and I really tried to enjoy the moment of getting to see your soon-to-arrive brother or sister on the ultrasound machine screen.
You were in Papa's arms during this, and were getting quite restless, especially since the wait to see the doctor was a little long for you. This meant that Papa got to see very little of the ultrasound taking place. He was busy taking care of you. But later, once we left the office he told me of your reaction seeing me laying on the doctor's examination table while Dr. Johansson probed my belly. Apparently, you became very still and were observing everything that was going on. Then, although you made no sound, tears began streaming down your face, and continued even after the examination was over. He is certain you thought the doctor was hurting me, even though you could see me smiling and laughing. Once we left the examination room, while I was talking to the doctor and her secretary and making arrangements for my next appointment, you, still in Papa's arms, kept reaching out to me, holding tightly to my shirt.
It was only after, when Papa told me of your reaction, that I realized how upset you were, and to be honest, it was only last night, while laying in bed wide awake at around 2am with insomnia did it hit me. I am your mama. And you know it. And as much as I live with the fear that something could hurt you or happen to you, you also live with that fear for me. We need each other, and we have a bond that has developed and strengthened every single day since we came into each other's lives. Maybe it sounds strange that such a simple incident made me come to such a realization, but with you, I have learned that the simplest things having become the most incredible blessings. A soft kiss from you. You caressing my eyelashes. Your small open hand on my chest while you fall asleep. These are gifts you give me every day and for which I will never be able to repay you.
January 19th,2009
Saskatoon 2008 (and a wee bit of 2009)
The next morning, everybody came over to Donna's- Paul, Mark, Grandmother, Norm & Judy, Adam & Natalie, and their significant others, Sandra & Nacona. Since Lindsay was also staying at her mom's, Paul Schoenau was already there, and so was little Tate, who I finally got to see for the first time (although we did peek in on him the night before while he was sleeping). We all spent the day at Donna's just hanging around, relaxing, and it was really nice. We ordered pizza, and later, some of us went to the movies, including myself. Paul S. and Donna were kind enough to offer to babysit, and man, was it ever appreciated. We went to see the movie "Doubt, starring Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Not surprisingly, the acting was great, but the movie itself left both Lindsay and I at least with few questions. Apparently, that was exactly what it was supposed to do!
The following day, the Elliot clan and Grandmother came over before the Elliots headed back to Alberta. Before they left, Sandra gave us one of her amazing hula-hooping demonstrations- pretty unexpected and amazing, to say the least. On the Monday, Donna, Lindsay, Paul S., Tate, Aurelia & I headed to the Museum of Western Development. In addition to checking out the permanent exhibit, we also got to see the Eaton's Once Upon a Christmas animatronics display. It was lovely, and Aurelia seemed to like it, too! Donna, Aurelia, and I headed over to Grandmother's house, where Paul and Susan joined us later on.
The last couple of days were spent quietly at Donna's. Donna had to work on Tuesday, so I tried to relax a bit, and stayed alone with Aurelia for a few hours. I was hoping she would nap, but she didn't. There were times during the trip when I found it overwhelming to be alone with Aurelia, who at 19 months, was most interested in playing with all of Donna's breakable trinkets, vintage glass Christmas tree decorations (plucking them off one by one), and, for some reason, squeezing herself behind the furniture everywhere we went. She was also skipping naps, going to bed late, and not sleeping soundly at night. Since we were both sleeping in the same room, this also meant that I was getting the best nights' sleep either. She ate very little while away, and what she did eat, was not the most balanced of diets. Since it was for just a few days, I didn't let it bother me too much, but part of me was indeed looking forward to getting back into our old routine. Later on, after supper, Lindsay, Susan and I headed off to Superstore and McNally Robinson for a little shopping. Donna took care of Aurelia, and it felt nice to get away, even if it was only for a couple of hours.
On New Year's Eve, we all hung out quietly at home. Susan was going out that night, so I straightened her hair for her. She looked great for her evening out! After she left, Paul S., Lindsay, and I all agreed that Donna had done way too much cooking in the last couple of days, so Paul took the initiative and ordered chinese food. He then went out in a snow storm and picked up Grandmother, and we all had a nice meal together. Paul F. came over, too, and later on, I went over to his house just down the street with Lindsay where he gave me the grand tour. What a nice place! We stayed for just a short while since I had to pack, and Mark came back with us. Soon, I went off and started to get my stuff organized, since my flight was for 7:45 the next morning. I was stressed, to say the least, but I got pretty much everything organized. I had just enough time to join everyone in the living room where we welcomed in the new year. Paul drove Grandmother home, and everyone else went to bed. I finally got to bed around 1:15 am, but unfortunately, my sleep was cut short when my favorite little person decided to wake up at 3:15. I was tired, to say the least.
Needless to say, I was ready to go at 5:45, and we got to the airport without a hitch. Because of the snowstorm,however, the flight was delayed, even thought I had checked before leaving Donna's. The good news was, Aurelia was so exhausted by the time we did get on the plane, that she fell asleep almost immediately, and slept all the way to Ottawa, leaving only a twenty minute flight, from Ottawa to Montreal. Adding to our luck, I had a free seat beside me the entire way, so it was nice to have a seat for Aurelia. We got to Montreal around 3pm, and Ben and my parents were waiting for us. It was so nice to see them.
I am so glad that Ben pushed me to go on this trip. There were indeed challenges to travelling alone with a toddler, some expected, others a surprise, but as Lindsay said I would, I do feel such a sense of accomplishment to having done it. What was even more amazing was getting to see almost all of my dad's side of the family (with the exception of him and Olivia) together during the holidays. These are opportunities that don't happen often, not to mention, less and less as we all get older. Ben was so right, it was the chance of a lifetime, and I am glad I took it.
Just in Time
Eighteen months. Just in case I forget, and one day, you have a baby of your own and ask me how old you started walking at. Yup, eighteen months. That gave us just enough time to start to worry that everything was OK. Just enough time to see you do a couple of steps three months before you actually really started walking. Just enough time to see your pediatrician on November 13th for your eighteen-month checkup, the same morning you really did start walking, and for him to be concerned enough to send you for testing at the Montreal Children's hospital for Muscular Dystrophy because according to him, your thighs were a little overdeveloped (attributable for those months of walking upright on your knees, we assume).
So, no. To answer your question, you were not an early walker. You were eighteen months old. And over the last month and a half or so, since you first started using your feet to get around, you cannot sit still. I imagine these are the first of many blurry photos of you to come.